So because of the upcoming Valentines Day, as well as Lammas, and other energies/holidays celebrating romantic love this time of year, I am guessing it is time to put in my own thoughts on the subject. As many of you know I am usually one of those people so put off by this time of year, most of it is out of bitterness; but some of it is out of circumstance-like say being single most years. However as this week waned on I found myself constantly plagued by writing this blog, and true to my craft, decided best to put down what thoughts were floating around in my head.
I had a friend come to me a few weeks ago asking about dating advice. She is the not-so-typical, typical, alternative, hippy woman; whom generally is very anti-typical relationships and was at a point in her life where she did not want one. Then, one day, she vocalized her possible want of a relationship to the universe; and well men came out of the woodwork. She had three choices, one of which was ‘the kind of guy to bring you flowers’.
As my friend went on to me about the events passing over the past few weeks, she was giddy over this man. She had never really dated a guy that would want to bring her flowers and was unsure about things as they were. As we discussed this I came to find only one good piece of advice to give her; find your flowers.
Find your flowers. Find the type of romance that you want to have in a romantic relationship. See not everyone, woman likes flowers, some like paint brushes, some like chocolates, some like small animals, etc. Everyone is different and therefore their ideas of romance will be just as different. What is important is finding someone with the same idea of romance as you and sharing within that.
Many men scramble for the perfect commercial ideal of Valentines day, and many women are often disappointed no matter how commercially perfect it maybe. The reason for this is few couples find what is their ideal romance, either for them as individuals or together as a couple. Thus the media’s version of romance does not sit well for either party and both are disheartened, which will often lead to a feeling of disillusionment and ending the relationship.
It is not a new concept to present the idea of knowing one’s self before starting in a romantic relationship. Here is my challenge, do not just know yourself; know your romantic self. Find your flowers, or the gestures that a partner can make that will melt your walls around your heart, then find someone who can and will do that. Someone who has the same ideals of gestures as second nature.
Too often as people we are suckered into ideals that are not our own, and end up living empty lives. We need break out of what is expected both of ourselves and other, and instead come to understanding and compassion for who we are as people. Then we can find people whom are like-minded in whatever ideal we have. When we know what our flowers are we can find someone whom will get them for us.