I apologize for not writing in two weeks. It has been a bit of an internal whorl wind. First off I did have a post for last week all written and beautiful; but it was over the top personal and parts of it were directed at a single person. Upon reflection, and talking it out, I decided that it was best to just stay quite last week.
I will for the sake of this weeks post give you the spark notes version of last week’s post. I was having a very difficult time transitioning from my old life to my new life. There was a lot of stress and a lot of me feeling like I was taking on the world alone. Not surprisingly after writing it all out and spending a couple days alone to sort it out in my head, I started to become okay.
You see I had been suffering from a burn out. Everything in my life seemed to be moving very quickly, and worse there was a feeling that it was not okay that I was not okay. Thats the rub with being a yoga instructor or being in a like category with life and career. The rest of the world, including those closest to you, put you in this box where you are never allowed to have a negative thought or emotion. YOU are always supposed to be sunshine and happiness for yourself and those around you. Still we are all human and still fall prey to all of the delicious dark parts of the world as much as anyone else.
Further I think each and everyone of us that are a part of that community feed into that thought process. We feel that we have to fit in that box and when we do not it spirals us even further down. We suppress the negative emotions or get even angrier when they do pop up. Or we ostracize those of us suffering from these exact burn outs and fail to admit to ourselves that we have, or are, there. Then again maybe that is just my interpretation, due to the extreme amount of loneliness and seemingly forced isolation that I felt during my time in this hole.
Whatever the reason, it is important for each of us to be honest with ourselves and those around us when it comes to the negative emotions that come popping up our of our minds. Even if the thoughts do not seem rational, or even understood, just saying the simple phrase of, “I am not okay with this” or “that makes me angry or frustrated and I do not know why”. Even the simple act of communication can help. If we at least admit it, out loud, to ourselves and the person the emotion is directed at, we can begin to heal that emotion and maybe keep it from coming up again in the same situation.
Those of us whom will be in the receiving end of such conversations, are needed to be compassionate as well as hyper aware of the surroundings. It is not always the best idea to dish out tough love when someone is hurting, or quote some text that seems to fit. Sometimes it is best to lay silent, or give into advise. It is all dependent on the person, the situation, and the subject of the discussion.
We have been advised time and time again that communication is key in any lasting relationship; but it is not just the communication, it is honest communication and compassion. If one part of the relationship advises that, “they do not know why but this action or phrase made them angry” it is important that the second part of the relationship hearing those words does not become defensive, but inquisitive and compassionate.
I know the whole post seems a little garbled; however I hope you take a few points away with you after reading. Everyone is subject to burn outs and periods of negative thought patterns and emotions. It is OK. We are all subject to the same delicious dark and light parts of life as everyone else. It is also important to break out of the social confinements that restrict us from talking about these emotions; and then talk about them. We do not have to understand them, just acknowledge that they are there, and that it is okay.
There is a lot floating around on the web these days about suffering from burn outs, and how to handle them. Still the first step is always to admit when you are not okay and to say it out loud. To just observe without judgment your emotional and mental states. In yoga classes all the time we are advised to “observe without judgment”, it is the same in life. We should not be judging ourselves or those around us for having a bout of anger, or a bad day; but we should be helping ourselves and those around us out by taking responsibility and acknowledging their exitance.
Practice in Peace and Love ❤