So I have been trying to sit down and write this for a while now, well more than a while. It seems that every few days I sit down and try to come up with some great topic to write about and get by blog back on track. I even tried to set myself up to have some miracle New Year’s post. None of it really worked out for me because when I would sit down the ideas would just float out of my head. Even after gaining some great inspiration from the day to day, I would either sit down too late; or I would not know how to get my thoughts on paper.
That being said, I sat down today with the intention of getting something out. Some form of my thoughts from the past few months, even if it turns into just rambles. Even now as I sit here, I paused and tried to think of some excuse to get up and move as the words are escaping my mind. The sad truth is, just this very feeling is a great topic for this week. The undisciplined mind in all of its glory! Here is the thing about an undisciplined mind, it makes it impossible to accomplish anything, sometimes even the most mundane and repeated tasks.
Plenty of people have had different solutions for dealing with undisciplined minds, particularly when it comes to crafts such as writing. Mainly they will tell you just to get out there and do it, just start a picture, or writing. Have a daily journal of some kind in which you are working on your craft every day. Others tell you just to wait for inspiration to hit you, and to go out looking at the world around you to find that inspiration. Eavesdrop on people for dialogue ideas, stare at nature, go on an adventure!
Still, although many of these ideas work out well, I am less believing that it is getting to the crux of the issue. The undisciplined mind is a symptom of a greater issue; and the greater issue can be anything. I have found that the greater issue usually stems from some internal struggle that is working it’s way to the surface. There is some sort of avoidance that is going on in the mind, and by flittering from task to task the mind is not able to focus enough to even allow the issues in the sub conscious to bubble to the surface.
See there is something wonderful that happens when we practice or fall into one of those super focused moments in time; we begin to reexamine our Self. We begin to see who we are and who we are not. Concepts that are so rooted in us begin to fall away, and what is left is something beautiful. Still that beauty might be trapped under layers and layers of stuff. Some of that stuff might shine with that same beauty, or the holes might all line up just right so we can peak through; but we still have layers to go to get there.
This is the concept in Meditation. In meditation we are letting go of all the mind junk in order to sit in perfect stillness and peal back those layers one by one. This is no easy task either. Many of those layers are toxic with ideas of who we should be, of who we are not, and ideas of how we are not good enough. Some of those layers even contain beautiful ideas of ourselves that we were told as children, or adults by others or ourselves; though are seemingly desirable are not at all who we are.
Having the mind set on a task and loosing ourselves in it some how pulls back these layers just as meditation would pull back those same layers, and as those layers get pulled back we become happier, more productive, and more peaceful regardless of what is around us. Still the process can be a painful one, or we can get distracted along the way seeing one beautiful layer that is completely a false idea of ourselves.
Thus when we find our minds flitting form one thing to the next without any sense of focus; we are avoiding reaching and pealing back that next layer; or sometimes letting go of the beautiful layer we are on. I feel that it is the conditioning of avoidance of pain that is happening. Pain we know is bad, our bodies know it, our minds know it, and our hearts know it. (It can be said that one can become addicted to it but that is another topic). So from evolution we are programmed to avoid it, at all cost. Hence our brains avoiding pealing back a painful layer to get to the inner beautiful Self.
Still, pulling back these layers will give us a sense of lasting peace in the end.
So then here is where I find myself, unable to focus on anything in particular. No matter how I try my mind is looking for ways of avoiding even the most repetitive task that I practice day to day. This avoidance I am guessing is the bout of a very painful layer coming on (I have noticed this pattern in my own self over the years). All I can do is push on and push past. Try and find a pealed up corner and pick until it comes up and I can keep going.
Peace and love my friends!