Closure is strange thing. Even after something is over, or someone is gone, we as sentient beings that have attachments need something more than just knowing an end has happened. Weather that more is a ritual, a conversation, or a mental understanding we reach within ourselves, simple knowledge is never enough for us to fully move on. For those of us whom work tirelessly to understand ourselves and the world around us, our awareness is often more attuned to when those changes are about to take place in our lives; and whatever the change maybe there is always a need to reevaluate, let go, and many times find closure for that which is lost.
All changes are progressive, even ones that feel like they tear our lives apart and remove all comfort and stability; and all changes force us to let go of something we cherish, even the changes that feel like they are pulling us out of a dark period. Change is a tricky thing to define as well. For change can happen in a myriad of small ‘butterfly’ like effects barely noticeable, it can also happen in large sweeping scales that shake the ground beneath us. The universe can be our catalyst, other people can reshape our directions, or we can initiate the metamorphose of our own lives.
When a change happens, often times understanding what propelled it forward can create the bones of what might be needed in order to fully let go and find closure. Circumstances outside of our control force us to find trust in the over arching universe and path that has been set before us. When it comes to others creating this change, it lends us the opportunity to find room in our hearts for understanding and forgiveness – both to the other as well as to ourselves for the part we played in the change. In situations of change where either the universe has pushed us, or another life force has altered our course, we have to find closure within ourselves first, before we can possibly have a conversation or ritual to let go. This closure within comes from the understanding of why the change needed to happen, what we did within this situation, as well as accepting and forgiving. With a clear mind we need to close that chapter of our lives – knowing that there was little or nothing we could do – and look forward to what is opening up to us.
However when we are our own catalyst to our metamorphose, it is often a much more difficult feat to find closure, as well as a much more painful change. When we make choices that change our lives indefinitely, and drastically, we can be left with an emptiness and wandering of the mind into the what if’s; and when things seem to get a little more difficult than we wanted, we can often find ourselves wanting to back track to when the choice was made. It is in these situations when closure is the most important to find. It is here when the will to keep going and to let go are the most difficult as well as the most needed.
Particularly for those of us whom have tapped deeply into our own intuition and use meditative practice to understand the needed changes, making choices that have irreparable damage and change attached to them are never taken lightly, although they can seem hasty to outside eyes. Even though what the universe or our intuition is telling us to do can be heart wrenching, we often times find that if we do not follow down that path the unseen consequences of staying put can be even more difficult than listening and responding.
When we find ourselves in these types of situations it is important to remember that the changes we made and the paths we chose were done so with the knowledge that there is something greater that we need to be walking towards. We also need to take the time, once the dust settles, to truly delve into the choices we made and accept the consequences for better or worse. We need to find ways to settle into closure and move forward without anything pulling us back into our past.
Finding closure for the changes we create ourselves is difficult. Often times it is remembering that we made a choice for a higher purpose, even if we can not see it yet. It can also mean that there are many hours, nights, or even weeks, where we will be delving back to the moment of choice and reanalyzing what happened to maintain that it was the best course of action we could have taken at the time. It can also mean that we will be fighting with ourselves during these moments creating mantras like “for better or for worse, this is the path I need to walk”. Or finding ourselves struggling to enjoy the benefits of the choices we made while thinking back on that which we left behind. It could be waking up in a strange place and remembering you left your comfortable space behind, or remembering you can no longer text someone that is no longer there. Before we find closure to the choices we made to change our lives, we can feel split down the middle, half in the past, and half in the present, with little or no thought towards the future.
There are a few ways to truly let go. One friend of mind always recommends a sort of meditative funeral, where you guide yourself into putting to rest the old self, so that the new one can be free. I also am a big believer in truly probing the mind of all thoughts and feelings. Creating conversations that could happen with people whom have been let go, or saying good bye within the mind’s eye of special places and objects never to be seen again. Depending on the scale of change, I might go so far as to fully explore a whole physical ritual so that the conscious and subconscious can be a part of something to truly let go – like burning keep sakes, deleting numbers, burring objects, etc. These moments of closure will often times come much later than the choice, for when listening to intuition it can be a seemingly swift shift and a clear voice or feeling pushing towards a change. Whatever closure is chosen it is also important to remember that all things change quickly, and that which is missed is often no longer what it was.
It is my experience that the need for closure can be a mark of sentience. As we are aware of ourselves, so too are we aware of our connections and attachments to the environments around us. When those things have changed, either by our own hand or circumstances outside of our control, we must find ways to lay to rest that which is over, so that we can sore with free wings.
Practice in Peace and Love ❤